i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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