Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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