Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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