woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
