thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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