My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
