Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
