Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
