Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
