At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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