Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
