You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
