i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
