remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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