Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
