I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
