is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
