Got a toothbrush?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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