Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
