...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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