i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
