I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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