Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
