After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
