just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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