six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
