Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
