Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dignity is for republicans.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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