so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
