was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
