Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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