Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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