Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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