the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize