Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
