i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
