i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
