Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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