Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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