her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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