I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
