Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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