butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
