my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
