Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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