I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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