Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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