Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
