I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
