my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
