this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
