i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
