I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
