summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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