She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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