Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
