I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
