I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
