im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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